Love. you know what is love ? for me Love is the most hardest thing to explain, why was that? Just check on google and type “love” then you’ll find lot of different definition about that shit. Even “the expert” have their very own different perception about love, what ? you don’t believe what I’ve just said ? here, let me show you some of those definition by “the expert”:
Gary D. Chapman on The Five Love Languages define love as not falling in love, “our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving. That kind of love requires effort and discipline. It is choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction – the satisfaction of having genuinely loved another. It does not require the euphoria of the in-love experience. In fact, true love cannot begin until the in-love experience has run its course.”
So what do you think after read those love definition by Gary D. Chapman ? Well, I’ll let you guys have your own perception about it. For me, I just want to focusing on this holy shit damn word “effort”. Do you guys really think that love based on effort ? some people might think that if you love someone you need to give everything you could to get her/his attention. Since I was new on this shit, I couldn’t argue with those opinion but let me give you something to think about, if you want cold water, I fan the cup a million times (we can say its an effort, right?), then someone else walk by with ice. You want something from a person, maybe you have expectations. I work with blood sweat and tears to reach to your expectations and then suddenly someone else just came by and has that thing you’ve been looking for. So, you go with them instead. Yeah, I know, love can be so mean and cruel and yet everybody craving for it.
Then there is Don Miguel Ruiz who said love is your dog on his book The Mystery of Love “You know, it’s easy to love your dog because your dog doesn’t have opinions about you. The dog loves you unconditionally. This is important. Then if your partner loves you just the way you are, it is just like dog loves you. You can be yourself with your partner; you can be a man, or you can be a woman, just the way dog can be dog with you”
Really Don ? You think love is your dog ? so if I want a love I just need to find someone who don’t have opinions about me and loves me unconditionally, or go get a dog, right ? that was a cliché, boring and most bullshit thing I’ve heard today. How is it possible someone could haven’t any opinions about me ? we live and make a relationship based on opinions we have to another person, I’m pretty sure you don’t want to have any relationship with someone who you think can’t even barely deal with his/her own life, because if you do, I think you’re just as fool as a dog. And there is no such thing as “unconditionally”, human is a realist and materialist creature that just think about how to get benefit from another, homo homini lupus (every man is a wolf to another man), that was Thomas Hobbes say. If you don’t familiar with Hobbes, he is an England modern philosopher.
And I found this interesting stuff from Jose ortega and Gasset On Love: Aspects of a Single Theme whose said love is insanity “Falling in love automatically tends toward madness. let to itself, it goes to utter extremes. This is well known by the ‘qunquistadors’ of both sexes. once a very easy for him to dominant her thoughts completely. A simple game blowing hot and cold, of solicitousness and disdain, of presence and absence is all that is required. The rhythm of that technique acts upon a woman’s attention like a pneumatic machine and ends by emptying her of all the rest of the world. How well our people put it: ‘to suck one’s sense’!”
Couldn’t agree more with this guys, they really nailed it. If you love someone you’re going to be crazy, for sure ! you will smile, laugh or even cry just because of a small glimpse memories of his/her on your mind. If you’re in love, you just simply choose to give control of your life to the person you love, you just couldn’t do anything without his/her face on your mind, even when you’re pooping his/her face still pop up on your mind. It just insane, right. I mean, this is your life, how could you let someone else to control ? Well, at least that is what I thought, I am a newbie, remember ?. I don’t know for sure, you tell me !
So, is there someone realized that I put too many “right” on this article ?, right ? hehehe well, anybody got the point about what I’m trying to say on this article ? No ? really ? me neither. Hahaha I really have no idea what kind of shit I was talking about, for people who read right until this very end paragraph, congratulation ! you’re just wasting your priceless five minutes for this nonsense and even more if you keep reading. Cheers ! At the end, just live your love’s life as you believe its right, follow your heart and do your best to get your love.
Happy February, month of love !*
*: various sources